QUOTES
2/7/06
We're starting a new segment this week with the emails. We will now end all emails with a "quote of the week". We're pretty excited about it. SO...here's the first one.
(heard at our show Friday night)
"The only thing we don't blow is speakers." - Nadz, bass player for Bump
"Come on man...we've blown speakers a couple of times." -Clint, drummer from Bump
2/14/06
(Natalie...non-smoker...asking Cathy...chain smoker...about her trip to New York)
"So Cathy, what did you think about the bars in N.Y. City being non-smoking?"
"I'm sitting there in this booth...looking around...and I'm like...why am I here? This is stupid! Let's leave."
2/21/06
(Mike...after a tough loss in Madden on XBOX...and he's being completely serious)
"I wish I still had a room here...just so I could go bury my head in my pillow and cry."
(I can't stress enough how completely serious he was being.)
2/28/06
Josh- "Sorry I dropped you on your face last night Matt."
Matt- "It's ok dude."
Josh- "If it makes you feel better, I broke some blood vessels in my hand."
Natalie- "Josh, you were crazy. You threw Bobby out the window."
Josh- "NO!"
Natalie- "It's ok, Joe caught him."
Josh- "Cool."
(Thursday in Mt. Pleasant)
Sean Dunlop (from Shock of the Cold)- "I practice crazy faces in my sleep."
(Sunday night...shortly after Josh engaged in a stare down with a possum in the backyard)
Matt- Did it have fear in its eyes dude?"
3/7/06
Matt- "If we ever become wildly successful...I hope we don't ever turn into assholes."
Josh- "No way. I'd like to think I was raised correctly."
Phil- Yeah...I mean you're not going to trash a hotel room or something."
Josh- "Whoa whoa...of course I'm going to trash the hotel room. But afterwards I will apologize, and I will be sincere."
3/14/06
Friday night
Matt- "The safety word is 'banana'."
Adam Landis- "I've been here 20 minutes, and it's already the best night of the year."
Saturday night
Pat Spain- (speaking to Natalie) "If I had Josh's voice, I'd have a hundred of you"
Jonboy- "Pat Spain's going to break a bottle over his head!"
Josh- "No way"
(sound of breaking glass)
Josh- "Holy s%&*"
Pat Spain- (after breaking second bottle over his head...bleeding) "Ladies...it doesn't hurt. Guys...let's do a shot."
3/21/06
(after he disappears for 10 minutes...Natalie finds Josh in the kitchen making a drink)
Natalie- "Where have you been? How did you get in here?"
Josh- "I snuck in the window with the bottle."
Saturday night
(outside the Hamlin Pub...loading our equipment into the trailer. Josh is approached by a man trying to give him $20 for no apparent reason. We eventually decide he's trying to buy a ride home. It's hard to tell though since he can't talk. Phil eventually talks him into a cab. This was the clinching line.)
Phil- "You're getting home the right way tonight Gary...not the wrong way." (followed by long warm embrace)
3/28/06
Friday night
(Outside the Magic Stick...walking to our friend Cathy's. We met this nice gentleman.)
Reggie Malone- "What is there...1, 2, 5...7 of you? What are you guys? Suburban warlords?"
Saturday night
(Our favorite bartender Paulie wasn't working. But he showed up during the second set. His greeting went something like this.)
Paulie- "Heerjfdgy dugffgnfdes...Whsdjfnat's udsvsdfp?!"
(after show...talking to Mike...he pauses mid-sentence to vomit in a cup he was holding.)
Mike- "Do you want me to get a glass of water for you or something?"
Paulie- "Noo way. I'm a professional here."
4/4/06
Tuesday
(watching clip of Mario Lemieux in the 80's)
Matt- "Look at that mullett."
Natalie- "Yeah...that's a classic mullett."
Matt- (gushing) "It's gorgeous."
Chicago
Friday
Bobby- (eyeing a "crate mate" at Dominick's supermarket) "Look...it says that if we get six bottles it's cheaper."
Natalie- "Can't I do half a shot?"
Bobby- "Did the Pilgrims sail halfway to Plymouth rock?! Did our Founding Fathers write half a constitution?!"
Josh- "Is that your drink Bob? It looks tasty and tall."
Friendly Front Desk Employee at Spring Hill Suites- "This is your last warning."
Saturday
(downtown Chicago)
Phil - "Where's Matt and Mike?
Shannon- "Mike's in the bathroom and Matt...I don't know."
Phil - "You guys lost Matt?!"
Sunday
(Breakfast at Sweet Tomatoes. Mike has literally tried everything in the restaurant...twice.)
Joe- "If you wanted to...could you eat more?"
Mike- "Oh yeah. But right now my intestine feels like a long blown up skinny balloon."
4/11/06
Chicago
(some quotes we missed last week)
(lost Matt...we go back to the bar to find him)
Bouncer- "Hi, are you looking for someone?"
Shannon- "Yeah, my friend, we can't find him anywhere. I think we left him here."
Bouncer- "Tall, dark hair, wearing a tan jacket, looks kinda lost?"
Shannon- "No that's Phil. I'm looking for Matt...shorter, just as lost looking."
(Sunday morning. Mike is returning from breakfast at the hotel. Joe is approaching him in the hallway.")
Mike- "Hey, breakfast is over."
Joe- "It's over?! That makes me want to put my fist through this wall."
Thursday in Marquette
Matt- "I like your hair tonight Jonny. It's very erect."
Saturday in Rochester
(Josh is approached by employee at bar who enjoys the band. Josh is apologizing...telling him he doesn't think he can sing some of the higher songs that night. Though he would like to. This was the response."
Daniel- "Champions find a way Josh. Champions find a way."
(Incidently...Josh did pull of Styx, Beck, and Queen that night.)
4/18/06
Monday
(someone asks Phil about the sneakers he's wearing)
Phil- "They're Hirache 2K4. I think Rip wears them."
Wednesday
Sean Dunlop- "When you guys jam, you don't go across southern plains with indians. You go over hills and mountains, and you end up on a volcano and get shot up in the air, and get caught by a wizard."
Phil- "I'm not going to be criticized or humililized."
Phil- (talking to Natalie) "Hey Megan...I mean..."
Natalie- "What's my name Phil?"
Phil- "I'm sorry...you know what I meant..."
Natalie- "No really. What is it?"
Phil- "Come on Josh...NO...I mean..."
Natalie-"Oh my god..."
Phil- "I'm getting shredded right now...like parmesan cheese. I'm grated parmesan cheese. Pour me on top and be generous."
(talking about wine)
Phil- "It doesn't taste bad until you stop."
Phil- "Drink the wine or pass the crime. You know what it means."
Phil- "I may be 20...but you don't think people have tape recordered me before...I've tape recorded people."
4/25/06
(on his birthday...Jonny comes up the stairs at 4am dressed in all black)
Pat Spain- "Oh hello, Ninja Jonny!"
Bobby- "I just want to be drunk. I don't want to have to go through with the act of drinking this horrible stuff. Why can't I go right to being drunk?"
(at the Casino...Josh engages in friendly banter with some of the locals)
Crazy Woman at Casino with her Mom- "You're on crack."
Josh- "How can you tell?"
Crazy Woman at Casino with her Mom- "I'm you're friend!"
Josh- "Do I know you? No. I don't. I know my friends. You're not my friend."
5/2/06
Josh- "Look at this place. Apple should sponsor us. I don't care. I'll put a big fat apple on the side of this house."
Jonny- "Mike, can you hand me that garbage bag?"
Matt- "Are you gonna puke buddy?"
Josh- "You need to talk to a therapist."
Mike- "When I did have a therapist...I never told him about this."
5/9/06
(Joe has just left a store...unhappy with the store clerk)
Josh, Matt, Mike- "I'm really sorry about that."
Store Clerk- "Don't worry about it. Just don't bring him back."
Joe- "I want that woody."
Matt- "I had a dream last night that I threw a bucket and hit Joe in the head. He was really pissed."
(going north on I-75, getting into "Just the way you are")
Matt- "Look at us. Just some dudes driving, jamming to Billy Joel. This is the toughest car on the road right now."
Josh- "I know we probably won't be caught. I just don't want to be brazen about it. I know I'm not above the rules. I know they apply to me. I'm just here trying to break them."
5/15/06
Jonny- "I don't know if you care, but the cat shit under the pool table."
(We're sitting at the very upscale Royal Park Hotel...discussing the quality of the rug beneath our feet.)
Matt- "Just stuff it under the couch until we're done."
(the rest of us crack up)
Matt- "What? You guys are never gonna have anything unless you take it. It would be cheaper for them to replace this rug, then to press charges."
(no...we did not take the rug.)
5/22/06
(Wednesday before last, the power went out around the city during a thunderstorm. We played through it while the sound slowly but surely came back. After the song ended, Matt Diamond had this to say on the microphone.)
Matt- "By the power of rock and roll...we're keeping this place open."
Brian- "Let's do a shot."
Natalie- "Ah. Ok wait...I need to get my drink for a chaser."
Brian- "See? She's a trooper. She's getting liquor to chase liquor."
5/30/06
Russ- "I'm not a dirty hippie. Well. Yeah. I guess I am."
Max- "I was so tired...I couldn't clean myself."
Miles- "Koyaanisqatsi. The last time I saw that, I had just broken up with my girlfriend, and Russ convinced me it was a good idea to drink two bottles of Robitussin."
6/5/06
Natalie (speaking about the laptop): "This is dead."
Dan Kohl: "Phish is dead?!?!?!?"
Natalie: "No...not Phish, THIS...the computer. Sorry to scare you."
6/12/06
Josh- "Some guy just came out of a trailer home and told me to keep it down. I told him to f#$% off and complimented his fake English accent."
Paulie (bartender at Boathouse)- "Josh...that's the landlord. And he IS from England."
Matt Diamond- "If you don't count being passed out...I haven't slept since Tuesday."
(said on Sunday evening)
6/20/06
Yorg (lead singer of our friends Bump) - "If I met MLK Jr. or Gandhi, I would piss myself."
(The keys to the van were kept in Bobby's car the entire weekend. On Sunday, Bobby started the long drive north. About an hour into the drive he received a call from Jonny back at the campsite.)
Jonny- "Do you have the keys to the van?"
Bobby- "Yeah, we have the keys." (moment of contemplation...then a scream) "Goddamnit!" (click.)
6/26/06
Pat Spain (on why his last relationship ended): "She was mad at me because I didn't spend three new years in a row with her because I was at the Phish concerts. I told her not to make me choose between her and Phish because I'll choose Phish every time."
(after the show Wednesday night, Mike is talking to our friend Ryan from Shock of the Cold, when some girl comes up and tries to flash Mike. Ryan is standing right there, and of course, can't help but see her boobs. She evidently doesn't appreciate Ryan standing there.)
Drunk girl (talking to Ryan): "What are you doing?! These aren't for you, they're for him!! What are you looking at pervert?!"
(five minutes later)
Joe: "Your nipple is hanging out."
(two minutes later)
Drunk girl (talking to Phil): "I just think we're soul mates. Don't you? Don't you think we're soul mates?"
7/3/06
Josh- "That was a crazy night."
Natalie- "Yeah. I can't wait to remember everything that happened."
7/11/06
Josh- "That was back when Joe used to hump cars."
(Joe and Sarah Moultrup...happily married couple)
Joe- "Marriage is shitty. Well. It's not that shitty."
Sarah- "Eh...it's pretty shitty."
Joe- "It's shitty.
(Phil and Adrienne have known each other for almost a year now. This conversation took place Sunday.)
Phil- "Hey Andrea."
Adrienne- "Hey Paul."
Phil- "My name isn't Paul...it's Phil."
Adrienne- "Yeah. Well my name is Adrienne."
Phil (Three second pause)- "What?"
7/17/06
(Our good friend Russ Gillespie played keyboards with us Saturday night for a fundraiser at Cranbrook. Joe was out of town and unable to play the show. We played outside...yes it was 95 degrees. Below is Russ' comment about playing outside.)
Russ- "There's nothing else quite like bending notes in the open air."
(They had a nice hospitality room for us. At the end of the night, Russ took it upon himself to make sure nothing went to waste.)
Russ (while holding eight bottles of Gatorade)- "Can you hand me that cheese tray. Just...put it on top or something."
Russ- "I guess I have enough. I am taking home 10 pounds of mostacholi."
(Natalie went to the Tiger game Saturday night with some friends.)
Natalie- "So I'm walking down the street to the stadium, and all of a sudden I feel someone playing with my hair. And I'm like...what's going on? So I turn around and there's Paws. Paws is walking down the street playing with my hair. So I asked him if he wanted to go to the bar. But he doesn't talk. He just offered his arm. So we went skipping down the street arm in arm. The end."
7/24/06
(Natalie and Amanda were walking home from the bar...craving some pizza. They stopped in at 7/11 to check out the options. They weren't good. They wanted Get 'N' Go, but didn't want to walk that far. Luckily...Natalie noticed a police officer walk in.)
Natalie- "Officer...we would really love some pizza. Could you please drive us to the Get 'N' Go?"
Officer- "Does it say 'cab' on the side of my car?"
Natalie- "You just ruined my life."
(said as she stormed defiantly out of the 7/11)
8/16/06
(Walking into a wedding reception...Bobby is practicing dialogue for the upcoming night.)
Bobby- "Do you have any scotch? DO you have any scotch? Do YOU have any scotch? Do you HAVE any scotch...etc."
8/28/06
(Gomez and Josh are heading to the band house to have a little birthday celebration for Joe)
Gomez- "Man. I'm kind of feeling down. Need to break out of this."
Josh- "Well. I'm feeling great. You're just going to have to feed off my vibe a little bit."
Gomez- "Oh yeah. I am a little bit already. You're electric right now".
9/12/06
(Matt and Russ have awkward exchange in hallway)
Matt: "Your tits are firm?"
Russ: "I have a titty hard-on right now because I'm anxious."
9/18/06
(Jonny and Josh are in the midst of a serious discussion about band finances.)
Jonny- "We just need to have everyone fill out a monthly expense report. Write down all their income...and outcome...or whatever."
9/26/06
Natalie- "The spider was so big, I saw its shadow in the dark. You couldn't just kill it...you had to shoot it with a gun."
10/2/06
Natalie- "I feel like I'm getting drunk so easily lately. It's just because I'm not drinking as much."
Matt- "See?! That's why you need to...keep...drinking."
Josh- "That is not an easy shot to do."
Matt- "What? They taste like banana nut bread...love...and Tennessee."
(Megan has just mentioned that she's never seen "Top Gun"...and doesn't really feel the need to.)
Matt- "Top Gun is an amazing movie. You're gonna go in, you're gonna be like...'Hey it's Dr. Green.' You're going to come out and be like, 'That's the Goose.' I cried like a baby."
(Talking to Josh...who has never seen "Terms of Endearment")
Natalie- "Will you watch it with me?! We will cry and we will bond."
10/9/06
(Natalie...trying to hide and make Josh think he left her without a ride at the Magic Bag)
Natalie- "Coo-coo! Is Josh here? Because if he is I'm just a bird! Coo-coo."
(Saturday...after the Magic Bag and a night of revelry...Bob makes his first appearance of the day. At 2pm. Looking...worn.)
Josh- "Bob-O!"
Bob- "Bob-Nooo."
Josh- "Let's check out the movie times and make a plan. Though...I should try to have at least one meal today."
10/17/06
Ethan (very emotional...fighting back tears)- "I miss Blendsday's so much! That was the best year of my life."
(Our very good friend and sometimes accountant, Miles Miner, attended the Detroit Tigers game at Comerica Park Friday night. On this night, as is often the case, Miles was partying rather hard. Culminating in him losing his shirt...and his s%#*. Fortunately ESPN was there to document the occasion and include it on their "Hardly Usual Top 10 Plays of the Week".)
Sportscenter Anchor (as 6'5" 300+ Miles does dance in the aisle)- "Number 10...this guy really loves his Tigers. And apparently...he's a plumber. Come fix my fridge."
10/24/06
(This one is from our sound guy in Chicago. Also a member of the band "The Ghettobillies." I'm pretty sure he was talking about drinking.)
Sound guy- "Good job everybody! Teamwork makes the dream work!"
(At lunch with Adam Davis from Manna and Quail. They're opening for us December 1st at the Magic Bag! Anyway...Matt Diamond wants to hang out sometime.)
Matt Diamond- "Want to come to our Halloween Party Saturday night?!
Adam Davis- "Do I have to dress up?"
Matt Diamond- "Yeah buddy. Just throw on a pillow case and come on over!"
11/7/06
(At Gracies Underground in Ferndale...Josh has been doing some singer/songwriter nights...anyway...this conversation was had about our lovely album.)
Girlfriend- "I just love it! I listened to "Inside Out" 37 times in a row!"
Boyfriend- "I liked it. I only listened to it once or twice though."
Girlfriend- "I was listeing to "Inside Out" just...sobbing all the way to school. Made me cry."
Boyfriend- "It gave me a hard-on."
11/20/06
(Sean Gomez...Live in New York City)
Gomez- "I would give half of each testicle for an inch on my penis."
11/26/06
(Bobby tries to give Megs-Bebs a high-five. She's not into it. He's
disgusted.)
Bobby (disgusted)- "Not happy with your lack of enthusiasm Babe."
Megs-Bebs- "What?"
Bobby- "Not happy with your lack of enthusiasm for the high-five."
Megs-Bebs- "Whatever."
Bobby (dismissing her)- "Yeah. Don't fall down the stairs."
12/11/06
(Large party after the Magic Bag at our house. The door didn't close for two hours as people just kept filing in. It seemed like half weren't even at the show. Which was mildly amusing. Anyway...this nice girl came up to me and had to this to say about our album.)
Kristy: "I just got your album and I can't stop listening to it. Really. Love it. Especially 'Far Enough'...you can really f%&# to that song. Oh...you can f%&# to 'Inside Out' too. Love that song.
Josh: "Umm. Well. Thanks! That's what we were going for."
(Yep...these are our fans.)
12/16/06
(Josh sent out a text message to the band when he confirmed our return to Fifth Avenue. Bobby sent a reply.)
Josh Text: "We start at Fifth Ave on Dec. 20th."
Bobby Text: "That's my birthday...........it's like we never left....."
12/25/06
(After the first set last Wednesday night, Josh stopped by the far side of the bar to say hi to his Dad.)
Jim Clemens (loud storytelling bar voice): "Good set Josh. I took a little poll of the people around the bar that don't know you...they said you were pretty good. Had a little reunion with the bartenders. You know...little reunion. They started crying a little bit. There were some definite tears during the set. I told them to quit their crying and get me a beer."
(Good friend Dominic Bracco got pulled over by the police. Broken headlight. This was the conversation.)
Police Officer:"License and registration please. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Bracco:"Honestly I have no idea."
Police Officer:"Broken headlight."
(Bracco hands him license and registration...)
Police Officer:"And how about you hand me the one-hitter in your lap as well."
